You are free to do what we tell you

December 3, 2008

Red Flag Linux

Red Flag Linux

NPR reported this morning that the Cultural Department in Nanching, China, has been requiring that internet cafe owners replace Windows XP with their home grown Red Flag Linux - a “free” operating system that comes with a mandatory $726 maintenance contract.

The move is ostensibly to crack down on piracy, but at least one internet cafe owner has claimed that legitimate copies of Windows and other Linux distributions have been removed too.  This lead Xiao Qiang, director of the China Internet Project at the University of California-Berkeley, to conclude that Red Flag Linux was an instrument of online government control.

Gotta love that free software!

Put a bangin’ donk on it

November 30, 2008

Filed under: Comment — Tags: , , , , , — matt @ 9:57 am

Wow, I think the Tidy Boys and So Solid Crew just had a baby.


Blackout Crew - Put a Donk On It

Tidy Boys - Coca Cola

So Solid Crew - 21 Seconds


Thanks to my main man StefK for this one.

Queen better at internet than McCain or Obama

October 16, 2008

This interesting factoid was reported in several outlets after Her Majesty paid a visit to Google UK:

According to the Palace, the Queen was the first monarch in the world to send an email, at an Army base in 1976.

Sterling work Ma’am!  After further research I also discovered that she created her first lolcat (pictured) in 1979 and in 1982 she produced the first ever entry on YTMND.

funny pictures

While we’re on the SUBJECT (yay!) of the Queen, I just want to clear up this common mistake:

It was exciting, it was an honour. To think when we started three years ago that we’d have the Queen of England uploading a video to her channel on YouTube,” said Hurley.

That’s YouTube founder Chad Hurley forgetting that Her Majesty’s official title is Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, and Saint Kitts and Nevis, Head of the Commonwealth, Supreme Governor of the Church of England, Duke of Normandy, Lord of Mann, and Paramount Chief of Fiji.  Get it right next time or the DMCA will be the least of your worries.

icefail.co.uk predicted by Bennet in 1997

October 8, 2008

I finally got embroiled in the credit crunch yesterday after Landsbanki’s subprime reindeer investments collapsed.  Does anyone else think it’s kind of funny that Iceland have frozen their assets?

Maybe I should have listened to the secret coded message in the lyrics to Bennet’s 1997 hit “Mum Has Gone To Iceland”.

More food mama
Give us more food mama
Give us prawn ring mama
Give us anything mama
Thank God
My Mum has gone to Iceland


More cash dadda
Give her more cash dadda
Be a bit flash dadda
Give here more cash, more
Thank God
My Mum has gone to Iceland


And we don’t have the dough
As the ad men well know
Got no concept of your bad cash flow
And if that ain’t enough
Just as life gets more tough
They bring out a new game for my Nintendo
My head’s popping
TV window shopping
And there ain’t no stopping
With that ice cream topping
Thank God
My Mum has gone to Iceland


We want mama
What you can’t afford mama
And the TV pressure’s
Aimed at your little treasures
Thank God
My mum has gone to Iceland


Bleedy daddy dry
Watch my mummy cry
And I can’t stop wanting
No matter how I try
Thank God
My mum has gone to Iceland

Liveblogging the post-debate set teardown

October 2, 2008

I don’t much like TV news.  In the UK they tork to u laik a 5 yr old and in the US it’s all whizz bang graphics and nitpicking over the minor semantics of soundbites (which, by the way, I will be doing myself at the end of this post).  Thankfully in this age of the interwebs I was able to stream a live, unedited, unanchored feed from CLTV.  Interestingly the stream had about 30 minutes of padding either side of the actual debate and I was able to uncover such trivia as the fact that a number of stage mics were held up with zip tags (”don’t cut that too close to the wire Hank”) and that some of the audience had found the debate rather an ordeal (”I dunno bout you but I’m ready to get the hell out” guffaws).

A potentially boring moment at the start where debate chair Gwen Ifill and the audience sat in complete silence for almost 15 minutes waiting for the start was enlivened by the arrival of a fire engine outside my apartment.  Reebok and I relaxed after the jovial bunch of firefighters casually sauntered from the suspect flat joking about what a douche the tenant was.

So what of the actual debate.  This is the first unfiltered look I’ve had at either of the VP candidates and I was hoping for the kind of gaffe-filled funfest you’d expect if the Duke of Edinburgh were debating against Cheryl Baker.  Sadly it wasn’t quite as good as that but I did learn a lot.

Biden for his part was very strong speaker, and having seen him in action I’m a little disappointed that he’s not running for the top spot.  He went into several policy specifics, in attempt to both befuddle Palin and refute the charge that his ticket’s platform contains too much Blairesque hot air.  I thought that was a smart move on his part.  Less smart was constantly banging on about Bush - Palin quite rightly called him out on it but he still kept coming back for more.  However think he just about managed to save it at the bell by launching a pointed attack on McCain’s maverick image.

An unexpected moment came as he choked up talking about a personal tragedy, in which he lost his wife and baby daughter in a car crash.  In that one moment he wiped out all of Palin’s chummy winks and cheeky (and largely irrelevant) references to her hockey mom image, supposedly one of her greatest strengths.  If that was a calculated move, it was a master stroke, but it didn’t come across that way for me.  I wonder if he’s ever pulled that trick before…

Palin, for a secret weapon, is not being deployed well.  It’s been said before that the McCain campaign are so scared that she’s going to say something stupid that they have coached all the life out of her - and apart from her appeal to the religious wing of the Republican base, her connection with ordinary people was supposed to be one of her strong points.  Time and again she awkwardly answered questions with a speech that was both unrelated to the original question and very obviously rehearsed - I kept expecting her to finish up with “…and I approve this message”.  Even before Biden turned on the waterworks, her mateyness seemed artificial and forced.

Before the debate it was suggested that the best Biden could hope for was a draw - a win in the debate for him would end up as a net lose because he would appear to be a bully.  I think he pulled it off though - working through the details of his own policies as Palin stumbled through hers, and saving his most vicious attacks for McCain and Bush.

After the jump I’ll leave you with a few of the candidates’ most incomprehensible quotes.  Can you guess what they are trying to say?

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Elect Oven Chips

September 23, 2008

Filed under: Comment — Tags: , , , , , , , , — matt @ 8:44 pm

Pretty limited audience for this one but I had to do it.

ELECT OVEN CHIPS for US President

To get this you’ll need to have been exposed to both the delicious convenience of McCain oven chips and payattention.org’s attempts to improve voter registration amongst the under-represented binge-drinking 21-35 year old urinal user demographic.

Chicago Cards and Oysters don’t mix

September 15, 2008

My CTA card has been playing silly buggers for the last couple of weeks. My rather uninformed theory is that it has been locked in an unending radio-frequency conversation with my Oyster card about the correct pronunciation of the word ‘tomato’ and finally stopped talking altogether as matter of principle.

My other pet theory is that while I’ve been fumbling around at the card reader with an increasingly agitated line of commuters building behind me, it has been randomly deducting credit from other people’s accounts. It’s the little moments of Schadenfreude that keep me going.

How the Tories could have prevented the rise of yob culture

The Tories missed a trick back in 1991. With ecstasy use on the rise and alcohol consumption by young people dropping, they could have embraced the love drug and created a youth culture of docile, friendly ravers. Instead we got the Criminal Justice Act and alcopops for the Jilted Generation. Ah well, at least the music survived. Hardcore people never die and all that.

Memewatch - Time, Downfall and Manbabies

May 16, 2008

Since becoming infatuated with LOLBOTS and LOLSECRETZ I’ve been on the lookout for new internet memes. The latest to appear on my radar are Time, Manbabies, and Downfall mashups.
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The social networking backlash

May 4, 2008

There seems to be a growing movement against some of the more popular social networks, evidenced by several amusing videos and a reasonably coherent rant from cranky geek John C. Dvorak.
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